It's a quiet night

BEHOLD

Possibly the cutest creature ever born into the Earth. My niece; Ann Wong Pui Ling. As of today, she is ten days old and she has stolen my heart ten times over. I cannot believe I am saying this, but she is a miracle. A sheer miracle.

I held her for the first time today, and she seemed quite content to sleep on my (fat) arms, swaddled in a blanket and peering at me from half-open eyes. She has no clue who I am, but I'm sure over time she will come to realise the giant face with the goofy smile on it is mine.

I think my entire family is going to spoil her rotten, and I'm sure we cannot be blamed for it.

*goofy smile*

That aside, I have not much to update; save for more about work.

Work... which is not as fulfilling as I thought it would be. It is, in essence, a very lonely job, this job of mine. Much time is spent riding on trains, meeting and being surrounded by people you only perfunctorily acquaint yourself with and then chances are you'll never see them again -- or if you do, you have forgotten them and as such, it is awkward.

It is a lonely job, this job. You attend functions and write about them, you see politicians squabble among themselves and report about them too. You return to office, where everyone is too busy with work (or too busy looking as if they're busy with work) to talk to you.

Everyone IS nice, very nice, but at the end of it all you won't be meeting them out of work.

I used to have that -- hanging with colleagues after work, but it was taken away from me. Or rather, I backed out of it. I don't regret leaving, but I regret having to give up that part of my job that was fun, where my colleagues were also my friends and I could kick back and have a pint with them.

Now, the only ones who drink are the editors, and the editors are far too scary to do any kick-backing and pint-ing with.

I miss my friends -- K, V, JE, Zenzei, Braman. I want to go on a holiday but it seems we're poorer ever since we began earning money on our own.

We are all too poor to afford a vacation but Lord knows I need one so, so, SO badly it hurts.

The worst part about it all is that despite my perpetual destitution, my all-consuming job and such and such, I KNOW I should have nothing to complain about.

My job is a great job that most people would die to experience. My family is a gift of which till today, I;m not quite sure I deserve entirely. My friends are amazingly, STILL my friends even after everything bad or tumultuous. I am healthy, my niece is healthy, and poor as I may be, I am happy.

But I am, somehow, embarrassingly enough, lonely. Its a feeling I cannot describe. I don't think I can describe it without coming off as ungrateful or whiny. So I won't.

God.

I need a vacation. Please?