"Pauline, you have a problem."

"I don't mean to scare you, but you have an impacted molar. That means its gloves off, missy. Your wisdom tooth is coming OUT, in surgery."

Well, not in so many words, of course.

An X-Ray of my entire jaw+teeth, peppered with little white patches and ominous grey shadows, with opaque white shapes that vaguely stir the memory of a tooth in your mind. Somewhere in you memory you remember a lesson in oral hygiene back in Standard One, and those shapes look something like that.

Teeth, you see. My teeth.

I am afraid I didnt manage to score back the picture of my x-rayed teeth.

But the prospects are black.

It started as an ache, really, when I bite or when I eat something cold. And a cavity-like gap in my back molar. Thought it was the usual. Too many sweets, not enough obssesive tooth brushing, so on and so forth.

Nope.

Wisdom tooth, see, grown in a funky way which can only be described as not-straight-up. More like sideways, nearly 75 degrees sideways. Practically horizontal, leaning against my poor molar, creating a large and ominous gap between those two warring clans (I mean teeth) and hence, BIG problemo.

Dentist say: "Decay la dear. Its gotta come out. I can patch it, but its that damn wisdom tooth.

There's a dark patch near there that I am worried about."

So today I embarked upon a journey of teeth-discovery (I am ashamed to admit my dental care is still below-par) and although the rest of me teeth are fine, that darned-skewed-tooth is a no-keeper.

Its gotta come out, she says, my dentist. (She's excellent, friendly, and relatively affordable.)

"You can just hash it out on the chair, I am sure, no need operating theater la, local anaesthesia will do, yes? That means you'll be awake during the procedure."

(insert horrified eyes: O_O)

"It will be half the price."

(insert less horrified eyes: o_o)

"But if you like, we can give you a pill to make you drowsy. Then you won't be 100% sober, alert, awake ala 'The Dentist' during the surgery."

(I am taking some liberties with the dialogue here, but bear with me.)

O_O

"Sure thing, doc. That sounds better.Thanks ya."

I am fine, I think, and so I schedule an appointment with the visiting surgeon on June 4th.

I inform my source of money- I mean, my mom, and she said:

"Ha, just like your sister the last time la, cannot eat solid foods for 3-4 days, cannot brush teeth for 3-4 days-"

At 'cannot brush teeth for 3-4 days' I passed out from shock.

No la. Hahaha. One of my tests.

It turns out that yes, I will have to eat only soft foods for a few days (you guys can have fun with that fact later and torture me) and my teeth will have to be gargled, not brushed and only for a day or two. Fair enough.

So come next next Wednesday, I will be off to have a tooth pulled (big time) and then when I

return, you guys can prepare the BigMacs and wave it in my face, ya. I'll eat my McPorridge like a good whale.

And stay away from me for a bit: My breath may stink like my brother's old socks.

Don't say I didn't warn you.