She felt the bile in her throat before she gained enough consciousness to do something about it. Tossing restlessly she struggled to fight the undulating wave of nausea; a feeling of unrest in the depths of her stomach. 

Her eyes then open, suddenly, and she stumbles blindly into the toilet (oh, it seemed so far away!) and stands bowed before the white porcelain bowl. Her breath is short, it comes in gasps, and her head swims with the effort to keep the nausea contained.

She felt like dying.

She probably was dying. 

Retching heavily, her stomach heaved as she expelled whatever it was that was making her sick. Tears run down her face and she whimpers, softly.

Those few minutes passed like it were a 2-hour exam: torturously slow, horribly painful and terribly exhausting.

She rinsed her mouth for what seemed to be a thousand times to rid her mouth of the bile. She cried small tears as she brushed out her teeth, spitting into the grey cold stone bowl and hoping she won't throw up again.

She retched, but nothing came up. 

She struggled back to her bed. Laid down with her hands on her stomach, and slept.

Last night I woke up with the worst case of nausea I have ever experienced in my 22 years of life and threw up the entire insides of my stomach before settling back into a fitful sleep.

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I've been up and down lately. 

Up because I am currently very happy with the way my freelance work is going.

Down because I feel more and more angry at things I cannot control and do.

Down because I screwed up an incredibly simple paper. 

Angry, but unable to express it at all, because this anger is targeted at the people I love and like and care for. 

If I keep bottling up my frustration I will go mad very soon.

In fact, I suspect last nights horrible experience (as in the italics above) was a result of this strange, inexplicable anger. Perhaps my frustrations are coming out; I now feel somewhat emptied. I have dosed myself with nice tea and I expect to feel better. 

It was horribly unpleasant, I assure you.

But I have been careless with what I put into my mouth these days, anything goes. If I feel like eating it so I shall. Its a bad attitude to have.

Added to that the stress of exams. Its a bad time to be throwing up out of nowhere, I reckon. Its a very bad sign that my stomach discomfort can no longer be ignored. I'd better watch what I eat for the next few days.

*********************************************************************************

Had an emergency rat situation yesterday as well.

Woke up to my mom yelling for help. Had a panicked moment where I thought she had fallen down (again) and hurt herself (again) and literally fell out of bed to reply her. 

I saw her sitting at the bottom of the staircase, looking utterly helpless. Panicked. 

Me: OMG whats wrong?

Mom: I need your help.

Me: What? What?

Mom: You're not going to like it.

Me:.......

Mom: There's a dead rat.

As it turns out, TWO dead baby rats at the back store area of my house. Someone somewhere is poisoning 'em and they are coming to my house to die. EWWWW.

Sterilised everything with Chlorox and Savlon and all manner of powerful disinfectants. 

I hate rats. 

Its just that my house back part was badly extended by the previous houseowner (20 years ago) and the roofing is falling apart. Literally. There are holes here and there and though we patch it up as best we can new ones appear and my stupid neighbour keeps stupid chickens and I have absolutely filthy neightbours so the rats keep on comin'.

Its fun. *sarcasm*

Anyways. Rat situation over.

Bleeding BEC is up next. I have to study. 

studystudystudystudystudystudystudystudystudystudystudystudystudystudy