LUNCH like in the old days.
Lunch today was a result of a unanimous decision to skip Bahasa Kebangsaan lecture after a rather mind-numbing Feature Writing lecture with Mr. Money. Who, by the way, if you ask me, can be potentially fun in his own way. If he gets rid of his problem with plurals and singulars.
Ahem. Lunch was in ANW, the PJ branch obviously. After deciding that we certainly do NOT want to attend class due to some 'horror' stories we heard from MZ (lecturer sit outside, students inside room don't know doing what), we decided on going out for lunch. In the group was MZ, the Blob, Bozu, Bra-man, HS, J, K and me. It was like stepping back into first year, in our first semester, when tensions did not arise and we were all one big happy group. Except that J is new, o'course.
And so we ate, laughed, joked, Bra-man had some interesting genital-related explanations, HS had torture methods to share and we all round had a blast. At least I did. It is good having lunch with loads of friends. Especially when all are good friends, all are crazy and none make any sense at all.
Let it be known that K can eat 2 double-scoop ice-cream waffles.
STUCK in Amcorp Mall
Amcorp Mall has only a few highlights, which include Payless, Book Xpressway and cheap magazines. Being stuck in it for nearly 2 hours is not amazing. (Sorry J, me not very good company on rainy days, or on most days for that matter. I am a dreadfully dull person, actually.) Was stuck as a result of heavy rain (which Bra-man described as kinda raining, which gives one an impression of a light drizzle) and no umbrella. And damn, I wore my turqouise wedge shoes. Its a curse, I tell you. Everytime I wear new shoes I get caught in rain.
We (me and Hugh Jackman) * nah, just kidding, see, I knew you weren't paying attention* (me and J) wandered around the place, looking not unlike two escaped criminals forced to endure relentless loafing in a not-that-interesting shopping mall. I even saw the security guard trailing us, whispering furtively into his walkie-talkie something that sounds suspiciously like our physical descriptions. I can just imagine........
"Hello, hello, Mat, Apek kat sini. Ada dua orang tengah jalan-jalan pusing-pusing tak henti-henti dekat kedai game ni la. Yang pompuan tu tinggi lampai besar bukan main, yang laki tu kecik sikit tapi macam ada senapang bawah jaket dia. Aku rasa bahaya la dua orang ni. Baik kita jaga sikit kedai Poh Kong tu. Nanti mana kita tau mereka tu macam Bonnie and Clyde."
Silence.
"Oi, you tak kenal ke Bonnie and Clyde tu? Ah, iye la, tahu la I pompuan tu takla lawa mcam Bonnie tapi ini real-life okey? Bukan filem! Kalau orang jahat tetap jahat, lawa ke tak lawa."
Silence.
"Ah, tu lah. Kan dah kata pergi la toilet tu awal-awal sikit. Nanti mereka tu buka langkah, hah, aku terbeliak seorang nak jaga kedai Poh Kong. Ish, kau ni."
Silence.
"Eh tunggu, mereka dah pergi dah. Tengah hujan lari keluar. Mesti orang gile ni.".
This is if they're both Malay dudes. Can you imagine if they were Chinese?
"Eh, Ah Chan ah. I think there is two persons very dangerous la. They walking walking non-stop. The girl very big-sized la. The guy look very dangerous also. Keep looking at the game shop la. I don't like this."
Silence.
"Eh, where got? Where got? I didn't steal your Chee Cheong Fun okay?"
Silence.
"Just watch out for the Poh Kong shop okay? Aiyo."
No, really. I am starting to freak myself out.
Some very STRANGE musings.
I am feeling a little uncomfortable. I wish I was more comfortable. I wish I were more comfortable being me and more comfortable with people around me. I want to feel at ease with my looks, my size and my all-round attitude.
Truly, is it alright to be YOU sometimes? Those penny-press, cheap-ass, make-you-feel-ugly-and-poor magazines out there (I can name a few but then again....) all tell you that the MOST important thing is to just be YOU.
But when YOU is not much, or in my case, TOO much, can you really be you? I admit that I get completely carried away a lot and my volumes go sky-high. I am also highly-strung. And I freak out. That is ME. I got it from my mom. So is it alright to be ME then?
Should I not, in realization of these flaws (I have so many more but they would be too many to write down here and now) change these flaws? Make myself better? Would that be untrue to who I am? Or would that just be improving oneself?
I wish I knew for sure, but I probably never will. I just feel really uncomfortable. Uncomfortable over a certain relationship. Uncomfortable about being as huge as I am. Uncomfortable with the way I am. Uncomfortable in my hard wooden computer chair.
And thus ends my post on a strange, uncomfortable note. Goodnight all.
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