And Another Year Bites the Dust

The year is ended, all go in peace,

God has given us Yong Tau Foo to eat,

Something something, the mass.. I mean, year, is ended,

Erm, never mind.

Some things are best left unfinished. I know that song goes something like, 'The mass is ended, all go in peace... spread love and joy...'. Hmm. But for sure, the line 'God gave us Yong Tau Foo to eat' is NOT part of the lyrics.

*Note: After Sunday mass we made it a point to go eat very good Yong Tau Foo near the Masjid Jamek LRT station. This was a few years back when we are at another church.*

Anyways.

So, another year has bitten the dust and it has kicked the bucket. That's all, folks! 2007? OVER!

I have blogged (pfft) for over 1/2 a year now, sad, but true. I mean, how much nonsense can someone spew?? And for how long?? So, to just round up what happened to me this year... (I try, but my memory is POOR)

JANUARY

Erm. Uni started again after our looooong break. I actually looked forward to it. Three months at home was killing me. Also, a nice kickstart to the year, though I can't seem to remember what... Did I pass my driving test? Oh yeah! I did! *I think*

FEBRUARY

Was nice b'coz of Chinese New Year. Not so nice because now it is a blur to me. I think I received a nice fat cheque too. I think I acquired my Zen Neeon. cost me RM 285. Worth every cent. I think I bought me mom a RM 200 handbag too. Nice cream colored, calf-skin handbag. From Isetan KLCC.

MARCH

My Birthday; to which I received some nice Zen Neeon stickers from MZ, a really pretty necklace from my sis (blue butterfly pendant) and a delicious Mocha cake from Secret recipe. Hmm. School was alright, had mid-terms I think. Oh hey, yeah, I got Journalism 1 midterms on my birthday! The paper was 8 am to boot. Got ophyron smacks from K and Bozu. Thanks boys, remind me to return the favour!

APRIL

Fool. Nah, didn't get any April Fools jokes. Can't remember April much. Must be uneventful.

MAY

New semester! (I think) Year Two Sem One. New classmates! I remember being most puzzled as to where and who our new classmates are. Kept wondering where they are sitting. K kept pointing in some direction; but I betcha he was wild-guessing. He didn't know either. Remember asking who is YN and M. And (sorry J!) I thought J was a girl at first. His name, that is. Then Bozu said three girls one guy so... drew my conclusions. Heh. What's in a name? Remember thinking J was (was coz now I know better :P) quiet, M is pretty, YN is quiet and pretty and ST, well, didn't know who she was till mmmmuuuuch later. Heh.

JUNE

Yawn.

JULY

Erm. You know what, my memory is so poor. But I DO remember having great times with friends. Really got close to people whom I never thought would turn out to be the funnest people I'd ever hang out with.

AUGUST

Sis's birthday, can't remember what I bought for her, Bro's B-day, shared payment for cake, erm, Exams, me thinks. Ewww. How come all I remember is exams???

SEPTEMBER

New semester. Short one. Horrid lecturers. Boring lectures. Went past in a blink of an eye.

OCTOBER

*flash!* Fun, fun, fun!

NOVEMBER

*Zzzzzzzziiiiiipppp!!!!!!!!* More fun!!!!

DECEMBER

The Sun. Industrial Training. Year end. Firecrackers popping.


Sigh. Its official, people!!!!!!!!!!


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chipmunks and then Some.

It's quite an event when me and my sis go out for an outing; just the two of us, no watchful Mom (which, unfortunately, also means no credit card) and no disgruntled male counterparts (brother, boyfriend, dad) and no money. Ahem. No la. Mom was feeling generous and handed us some rare-occurence cash. Told us to enjoy ourselves and then (in the same breath) to come home by 5 pm because it's not safe after dark.



I mean, I am an adult and my sis, a 19-year-old.



Sure. We're gonna accept candy from some stranger and follow him home. Uh huh.



So, here goes, a list of WHAT WE DID IN ONE UTAMA TODAY.

Watched Alvin and the Chipmunks

I must admit that environmental factors are often very strong factors. Like, air-conditioning is waaay too cold. Or if the seats are lousy. Maybe even a loud-chewer or a motor-mouth or two. These things add up to an unpleasant movie-experience.

I only had motor-mouths, children (noisy), adults (inconsiderate and stupid) and loud chewers. Quite lucky.

Then there was the movie. Which started out unbelievably adorable. Three chipmunks on a tree, singing Bad Day. Cute. A pun joke or two. Adorable.

Then they suddenly went to the city. (God, I can't even remember which city!) Then they suddenly move in with this guy called Dave. Enters love interest. Exits love interest. Hello loser who lost his job, hello melodious chipmunks, goodbye movie.

W-w-wait a minute, you say. Why goodbye movie? Losers+chipmunks = totally awesome cuteness man!

Sorry.

Losers-who-act-poorly + chipmunks who should have stolen the show but were exploited by greedy humans + little to no character development + random love interest = BLEARGH.

I don't usually make a point of pointing out acting except if it was fantastic, but I am horrified. The very funny Jason Lee has been reduced to a speck of nothing. He did not connect, he was rather unconvincing, he was in NO way interesting or distinctive and frankly, he just doesn't pull off the 'ALLLVVIIINNNNN!!!' Not a chance.

I am very disappointed, actually. It was fairly amusing, oh, no doubt. The chipmunks were adorable and frankly speaking, better actors than all of the REAL people put together. Also, it had its chuckle-worthy moments and some sweet moments.

But other than that, ZIP. There is nothing else good about this movie. I was losing attention halfway through. It was paced poorly, written for kids (and for patient parents) and for those who want to be kids only. If, like me, you prefer to spend your RM 6 on a movie like I am Legend, or heck, even National Treasure, do so. If no, wait for Sweeney Todd. And if, like me, you prefer something less child-orientated, then give this a miss. At best: C.

Harsh, I know, but since my sister enjoyed it immensely, maybe it was just me being grumpy from lack of sleep due to a Nayang Memorably.

Hah. Speaking of Manyang Memorably, my family have been on an Old Town Kopitiam spree. Eating there waaay too often. But when the food is quite decent and the prices fair and the ambience is good, hey, why not?

Shoe Shopping

Dismal. Despite my best efforts at finding a pair of flats to replace my old brown butterfly ones, the perfect pair remains elusive. Despite trying Vincci, Padini Concept store, Voir Shoez, Nose and even the upper-crust like Eclipse and Salabianca, the pair of flats remain elusive. My sister, however, did find a lovely pair of two-inch black strappy heels with a gold glittery ribbon detail. I found my dream wedges, but unfortunately, they were NOT on sale and I was not hunting for wedges. So I decided to give it a miss, for now.

I will return during Chinese New Year shopping with a vengeance.

Big Apple Donuts

Is better than J-Co. No, really. At least in many ways.

1) The white chocolate+almonds (Alcapone in J-Co) is much better. For one, the almonds tasted like almonds and not bits of nut that dream of becoming almonds. Not so sweet also. Better.

2) Cheaper. Seriously. In JCo you pay according to what type of donut you take, but in Big Apple, its a flat fee of RM 2 each. RM9.50 for a box of 6's and RM 17 for a box of 12's. Not bad.

3) Shorter (marginally!) lines. The lines at JCo are atrociously looooooong.

However, J-Co wins on

1) Better chocolate filling. Big Apples' chocolate filling tastes kind of starchy, and kind of weird. Not like chocolate at all.

2) More variety. Big Apple has only, like, 15 types, J-Co easily 20+ types.

Verdict? Big Apple if you want good donuts but are not exactly swimming in cash and time. J-Co with friends and with time and cash. XD

I end here.

Goodbye all. Keep safe, keep smart, and call me if you need your weekly dosage of Whale-style jokes.

I Am Legend, I Am Tired, I Am Happy, and I Am Hungry.

I Am Legend

24th Dec 2007

Today I went and saw 'I Am Legend'; starring the very leading-man-worthy Will Smith and a dog named Abby.

So the story begins with a now-you-see-her-then-you-don't appearance by Emma Thompson (one of my fav actressess ever since I saw her in Sense and Sensibility and Nanny McPhee) who plays the part of scientist Alice Kripkin, who appearantly have found the cure for cancer using the measles virus. Miracle? NOT!

The 'cure' turns people into stark raving maniacs! Flesh-eating, dark-lurking, pop-upping maniacs! This virus is incurable, and guess what, Will Smith (or Dr. Robert Neville) is immune to it. It's also spread by contact and air so there is NO escape.

After the virus wipes out the entire city of New York, he becomes the only man left on Earth... or is he? With his trusty dog Samantha, he tries to find the cure to the virus and oh yes, try not to get EATEN while he is at it. Very nice.

This movie proves several things:

1) You don't mess with what God made and fiddle around with it in attempt to mess about with something else God has made.

2) Dogs are the bestest friends a man can have. They will sacrifice their lives for you.

3) Wear a jacket when you go to the movies, cause it's cold. D'oh.

Verdict? A-. The tension, the action, the monsters popping up at all times sesuka hati macam bapak punya Bumi and the very impressive performance by Will Smith. After all, he had proven himself as a really serious, good actor in The Pursuit of Happyness. The best part of the movie? The dog, Sam. And I liked how he was a real character, because for me, movies are nothing without it's characters. I hate homogeneity and I like character-driven movies like Little Ms. Sunshine, Meet the Parents/Fockers, and other such movies with unique and individual characters. Good writing, decent soundtrack, very fast-paced, intense plot.

Oh, yes, I thought the ending was, like J said, abrupt, yet fitting. I damn well nearly cried when the dog -never mind. Wait. The only people who read my blog already watched. (spoiler warning!!!!!!!!) The dog died. Damn. I nearly cried right there in the cinema next to an elderly couple who would'nt keep quiet throughout the movie. Luckily I remembered my reputation as 'a cool guy with boobs' was at stake and decided to tough it out. Ahem.

I Am Tired

25th Dec 2007

I went to Mass yesterday and didn't get back till, like, 1 in the morning. Midnight mass. The priest was more elaborate than usual, saying two words instead of one and singing every line he's got at every chance. There was also a re-enactment of the Nativity and a very nice performace by the choir. At least they were singing in tune; we have had previous choirs who have been absolute rubbish.

The Mass, surprisingly, was a meaningful one for me. I felt that joy (just a little bit, I mean, I dunno, it could have been leftover vestiges of the movie) of Christ's birth. Sounds holy, I know. Don't get used to it ;P

All in all, a good Xmas Eve, and today I intend to spend a lazy Xmas!

I Am Happy

Unusual, I know. How often do you find me happy? I remember vaguely K telling Bozu waaay back in first year that to approach me all he had to do was be as miserable as me. Well, oddly enough, I am no longer miserable. Never was, actually. I just liked sad songs and miserable-sounding music. Heh. But yeah, life is good at most times. It's just up to you to stop and let it get to our head that it is. You get downs and you get ups, but more importantly, remember the ups.

I Am Hungry

I am hungry for JCo and Takoyaki. Damn. Suddenly I gots the craving for that delicious Belgian Chocolate donut. Gar. Hmm. I ate at Yoshinoya yesterday for the first time; it was quite good, actually. Can eat full for 20 bucks. But anyway, I was SO hungry anything would have been good, hahaha.

Hmm.

Long post. I end now. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen for enduring my drivel.

Its back.

I am chastened and contrite.

Yet it was not my fault.

It was just bad luck.

Sigh.

No gaming for me.

Yesterday I was knocked down by a car in a hit-and-run.

The driver was a sadistic man who is a lecturer at our Uni. He decided to use his Proton to run me over and then took off like a lightning rod. He did not call the cops, the ambulance nor the paramedics; he left me there in for 1 hour and 40 minutes to freeze to death and suffer greatly.

I am serious.

I tried to get up, call for help, but I was stopped by multiple reasons, one of which was imminent death.

Yes, my friends.

I lie bruised, battered and gravely injured on my bed now.

Broken leg.

Permanent head damage.

The driver: Mr. Moral Paper.

The make of the car: Proton Suffering.

Plate number: MPW 2153.

(If by now you all want to throw potatoes at me, wait ah, lemme get a basket. I like potatoes. Can make stew.)

This is where I grin like an idiot and you all groan at my lameness.

Hahahahahaha.

But.

I am serious. I may actually flunk this paper. This will make the FIRST time in all my 14 years of education I have failed a major exam paper. I am in pain.

The paper of was a mish mash of confusing sentences and confusing choices of answers and confusing everything. Not to mench my BM has gone straight down the drain.

I sigh.

But since yesterday technically makes the last time we in JR will see each other (all in the same class) together for the next 4 months or so... its a tad nostalgic.

Ahhh.

How I remember.

The first day I arrived at the first semester of first year was memorable. I met Bozu and K for the first time thanks to MZ, and was also intro-ed to IS and The Blob. I remember my first impression of Bozu. I thought he was a cute little boy. Hahahaha. And I thought K was dark. Couldn't tell if he was Chinese or Chindian or whatever, it wasn't until slightly later I discovered he was part-alien, part-human. (No la, hahaha.)

I also remember how I blatantly forced everyone to introduce themselves as we sat in the classroom (the room next to PC105). I remember Mr.Y sitting at the back of our class, silent and wise. I remember how I told everyone I am really tall (d'oh) and I remember Bra-man trying to compare heights only to discover that I AM indeed taller than him. Hahahaha. I didn't know Bra-man too well back then; I knew he was funny, but now I also know he is a genuinely good guy. HS, ahh, well, he was a mystery and still is. The Blob I was warned was loud, but now I know other stuff too. K, I thought, was prickly (he started off the wrong foot with a LOT of people), and now I know he just a dumbass, but he be a truly good dumbass. (:P). Bozu... well. I pinched his cheeks, thought he was corny and cheesy and pretty much still do. He remains, I think, a good friend (at least on my part). So, Bozu my boy, no matter what, just remember you are who you are ok?

Ahhh.

Then I made friends, lost one for a while, found her back, made a strangely good new old one, met new ones, made good new ones and now remain in a small but cosy little group of close friends. Which is nice.

I never had such great times as I have now. Hanging out, telling stupid jokes and having friends who see me for who I am and actually accept it. It's a goood feeling.

So as we all step into the new phase of Industrial Training, we will learn new things, hopefully build contacts and carve a path for our future once we leave Uni.

Dinner calls, so I end here.

Goodbye all.

Alcapone, Takoyaki, I No Study.

These are the best parts about having friends; good ones.

1) They make you forget that your computer is busted and that you are on a tentative diet.

2) They make your day much better even though you are having a bad one; and have been
having bad ones for days. (Due to aforementioned busted computer)

3) They never fail to cheer you up with funny remarks.

Today I went to eat donuts and Takoyaki. For those who do not know what takoyaki is... wait. The only few people who read my blog DO know what takoyaki is. So never mind. But seriously.

Takoyaki is a delicious little Japanese treat. It's made up of Tako and Yaki.

Tako: Octopus, Yaki: Err, ball of flour?

It comes in a little ball; topped with a tasty BBQ-ish, sweetish and tangy sauce and fish flakes. And some other stuff I don't know but I will eat anyway. Its served piping hot (umm, yes, J should know all about piping hot ;p) and fresh off the pan. Eat with a stick and a wide open mouth.

Dee-lishous. It is a little salty/sweetish with a real zing. It's gooood. Much better than the ones in MidValley. Pretty pricey though; RM4 for three small little balls. (Why do I suddenly sound like a horny old lady paying for a gigolo with a mutated -----???? Everyone say "Ewwwwwww")

Hmmm.

My separation from Christian is taking it's toll. I miss him, I do, but he's currently indisposed. There is something wrong with his, erm, bits.

(OMG there I go again.)

Hmmmm. It's time I took a gooooood hard look at my life.

Anyway.

Sunway Pyramid is a cool hangout; nice buncha affordable stuff, some cool food shops, and lotsa things to look at.

Oh, and J-Co.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. *drools over keyboard and gets electrocuted*

I ate the Alcapone (pronounced Al-Ke-Po-Nee, me thinks), the Oreo one, the Belgian Chocolate one, heck, I ate heckuva a lot and we were passing around the different types of donuts. We were messier than the buncha kids next to us; the way the smooth creamy fillings were oooooozing out and the way each bite was pure pleasure. We passed around the donuts, sticky fingers and all.

Deeeeeeeeeeelicious.

Food was a highlight today; yes, it was.

=) Very nice.

Altogether, good day, good friends, good food, and no studying. Muahahahahahahahaha. Me flunking the Moral paper.

I am Deprived.

I am in Grief.

I am in Mourning.

My life as I know it is Over.

I am wrecked with Sorrow.

Goodbye, Christian.

There are times when I absolutely HATE being right.


MY LAPTOP HAS CONTRACTED A POWERFUL AND LETHAL VIRUS, which has wiped out my entire system and rendered my Internet connection, McAfee and CD/DVD drive completely useless.


I am not kidding, my friends. I have never been more serious in my life.

It is now 1.30 am and my brother (god bless him!) has JUST only finished salvaging my laptop.

I am now supremely frustrated, frightened to death and ready to bash my head to a wall for being such an unlucky fool.

Many of my friends have downloaded much much more than I have; anime, software, games, you name it. NONE of them have so much as caught a cold.

I caught the motherload of pneumonias and emphysemias. What did I do? Install Warcraft 3.

Words simply cannot explain my feelings now. I am torn between crying, screaming and pulling my own teeth out.

Its only been THREE weeks since my laptop arrived and already I've fucked up.

(You know this is serious when I use profanity online without censoring myself.)

I now want to kill myself. My laptop. My beautiful laptop. Only fuckin' 3 weeks and I've fucked up. I cannot believe it. I don't even know if I should cry.

FROM NOW ON:


1) NO MORE ILLEGAL GAMES. I am serious. Chocolatier and Plant Tycoon are as far as I will go. Sorry J and K. No CS LAN party. I cannot risk this happening again.


2) NO MORE DOWNLOADING SOFTWARE FROM THE NET. None. No more Limewire, nothing. No. I am fucking serious. Nothing unless it comes from the Microsoft website.

I am now so thoroughly upset with myself I am going to go to bed and hide under the covers and wish with all my heart that this was all just a bad, bad, nightmare.

Goodnight all.

This is a RANT post.

Now, there is nothing better than to warn your friends straight up about the amount of verbal diarrhoea that is about to take place. So if you should wish to scroll down to the end of this post for a piece of surprising news, please feel free to do so.

Now, Warcraft III is a great game. Its a classic. I love it. I want to play it.

I have awaited for HS's return from Melaka for 2 weeks so I may p****e off his game. Such are the actions of those without a steady, abundant cash flow.

I was faced with several startling and highly frustrating problems:

1) Cr*ck-ing the game - copy/paste so many times, no is working. Copy n paste again, suddenly working. Very the frustrating. Keygen got trojan, my McAfee go and block the thing so got to D/L keygen generator online. Long story short, 3 phone calls to HS and 2 long hours later.....

2) Playing the game.

Wait, you say. Why is playing the game a problem? I thought you wanted to play the game?

Oh, yes, my friends. I want to play the game.

I was playing the game.

I was enjoying Frozen Throne campaign. I was on a roll. Very the delighted.

Then suddenly....

FATAL ERROR!
War3 has encountered a fatal errror...
memory could not be read....63544738id866blablabla
youarescrewedyoudamnpiratemuahahaha
memorygoterrorbecauseyouapirate
gobuyoriginallayoudumbass
wescrewedyouovermuahahahaha

followed by some rude ^#@%^&@%#$%&%@&%

I re-started the game. Re-installed (making it the 3rd time I am re-installing) and played again, but same damn thing.

This was last night.

This morning, I re-installed.

Oh, wow, can play. Whee!

Suddenly, my whole computer black out and the whole screen turn blue and then the words:

Windows has encountered a problem and needs to shut down.
Windows has discovered you are using a pirated x pirated software and you are a shmuck.
Windows will now proceed to reboot.
Windows asks you to get smart and get original.
Windows knows you are poor and Bill Gates laughs in your face.

I am now very frustrated.

My beautiful laptop is completely boring without any nice games.

Worse, I suspect I may have permanently damaged my computer with a nasty virus. Now I am dependent on McAfee to save my sorry arse.


As promised, a piece of surprising news:

Jackalopes know the meaning of life.


Goodbye all.

The Greatest Mystery on Earth is Why Our beloved Uni has NO Wi-Fi.

When you get places like my sister's uni having friggin' free Wi-Fi (as of now, I am sitting in her Uni leeching off their Internet connection. Life is indeed unfair.) They don't even ask for ID's or whatsits. Their lax security is my advantage.

Anyway, so finally I have a chance to put my laptop to full use (whats the point of a completely mobile laptop if you don't utilise it?) and its awesome. And free. Muahahaha. So that is what my mom is paying for, eh?

Time: 9.29 am.

Date: 12th December 2007

Place: My sis's Institution of Higher Learning. (no names, okay?)

Loooong story about what I am doing in her place at this kind of time and this kind of day; when my exams are looming.

My sister is away in class and I am sitting in the very very 'cun' cafeteria. There is nobody about; it's nearing the end of semester/start of holidays.

Would have liked to do a study group today; but remembered in time V has to go visit a friend in the hospital.

Hmm.

Short post: this is simply meant to lament the fact that with the cheapest fees come the barest minimum of facilities. Sigh.

Ho-hum. I go surf the FREE internet.

Muahahahahahaha.

Its been three days.

I am oddly sane, mildly neurotic and strangely alert. I am amazed.

Now, let it be known: I am NOT a coffee addict; because I can quit anytime I want to.

(if anyone should ever ask me about the side-effects of crippling headaches, mild nausea and odd behaviour I shall deny most vehemently)

Hmm. Hmm.

Study week is done, (so to speak) and the only 'books' I've cracked open is King of Thorn and erm, Special A. (A fluffy manga I took out of sheer boredom, which turned out to be quite nice.)

True to my nature, I have not so much as studied, for I have a sense of complacency and self-assurance in my so-called writing skills. Pfft. I have rifled through the notes today; to which I discovered it pretty much is what I've learned in Journalism II (gee, and how well I did on that) and pretty much a lotta common sense. Still, one must do what one must do, and that is to sort of, kind of, perhaps maybe, look through the notes.

Ehehe.

Notwithstanding, I am still unable to muster up my usual pre-exam worries and panic ( maybe because I have been de-sensitized by my laptop) and hah, I am happy about it.

Hmm.

Got loads to do this week; go with sis to OneU to fix her DiGi problem and go with MZ to OneU to buy ice-cream sticks. -_-; That's twice in a week. Then gotta go up to The Star to grab me manga.

Then, I have something else.... can't remember....

Oh yes, EXAMS. Hahaha.

Thursday, in fact. x_x

Ah well. I am sure I'll live. Goodbye all.

Day One of Pauline's Combat against Coffee

I am quitting.

Cold turkey. No more Coffee/Caffeine (that includes tea, yes, for it may as well. I am not overly fond of tea, 'cept Chinese tea, and that I have to drink.)

Today is Day One.

I skipped my usual morning cup and slept like a dead whale stranded on a beach. No, really. I was so lost to the world I did not even dream. Of course, contributing to that was also a very, very late night. I went to bed only closer to 2.00 am yesterday, to which I was watching Ocean's Thirteen.

Today is Day One.

I did not have my usual cup with tea-time (Sunday, for me, sometimes mean no coffee in the morning so I can nap the day away and then wake up and have coffee with my Jacob's). This will mean a most vicious headache later; but I must at least try.

I must at least make an effort to prove to myself I am not completely useless without my coffee.

Honestly, when you start to be so dependent you are unable to form coherent sentences before a cuppa, you've got a problem. And I can sense a worse addiction when I start my Industrial Training.

Is there no end to this vicious cycle???

And it's 1.47 a.m -I am still awake.

I am still awake. It's cold.

It has been raining on and off the whole day as if the Mighty One up there just simply cannot decide if He wants to drench us or dampen us just enough to remind us who's Boss.

Did I mention it is cold?

Well, since technically it's Saturday, well, I went up to The Sun yesterday. Yeap. The Sun.

It was hot, like I expected. And filled with black spots. Got singed (my eyebrows never looked better and my skin looks like K's) and a little over-cooked but nonetheless I feel tanned, great and about to come down with skin cancer. Life is good.

It was in another planet (tumpang-ing another planet) and it required about 10,000 million light years to reach. And to return.

Met with the Sun-Priestess; she was nice. She even informed me that ice-cream is available in the canteen. Ice-bloody-cream. It's amazing. I said, "Damn, how do you guys keep it cool?" and she said, "We don't! Its melted! Hahahahahahahaha!"

And well, you must not piss off the Sun-Priestess by saying "Then why the heck did you tell me there's ice-cream when it's no longer ice, instead, it's just cream? What the heck is ice-cream without the ice?" No indeedy. Nuh uh.

So I laughed along. I said, "Haha, you got me!"

She also informed me that waaaay out there in The Sun, dress codes are rather lenient, so one is welcome to go about in one's birthday suit. No, literally. Anything else catches fire and then you will become the human torch and that, I assure you, is not nice.

When I left I realised it was sort of drizzling hot molten droplets of lava and so I scrambled to the space-depot (which was a 2.45 million light years walk away, not too far) and waited beside the space route that had spaceships going at a 1000 light-years-a-second. It was fun, getting bits and pieces of meteorite blowing in my face and burning holes in my epidermis.

When I boarded my correct space-ship back to the space depot that will take me to Earth, I was dropped off unceremoniously just outside the depot to Earth. Seems like the spaceship I was on was headed to Mars. Don't want to go there. Too many Mars Bars floating around, legal and illegal. Hitting unsuspecting visitors in the ol' noggin. Causing concussions. Last time I went to Mars I got hit and woke up in Tahiti two years later with a hot Italian guy in my arms and a tattoo that says 'I got Hit by a Mars Bar!'. I laser-ed the tattoo out and dumped Giovanni after I found him snuggling up a red-skinned Venusian and went to UTAR to pursuit Journalism.

Anyway.

When I returned back to Earth it was raining acid rain, so I got caught and got a nasty headache. Well, as we all know, I am a coffee addict, so I assumed the problem was due to the fact that my cuppa in the morning was too weak-ass. I decided to curb the headache by joining my brother, sister, future sister-in-law to a place called Bangi Kopitiam, and I drank a cup of 'Kopi -Gao' there.

Which, of course, explains why I am still awake while my equally-as-awake sister Chuzzles away. (Do ask me what Chuzzle is the next time we chat, yes?)

Now I am wide-awake, and typing out my various out-of-body experiences. It's freakin' amazing.

I also watched The Pursuit of Happyness, and it proved to be one of the best movies I've seen all year. For it's simplicity, heart and sheer good acting on Will Smith's part.

This, of course, I watched while I sipped Pina Coladas and while I had a contrite Giovanni on his knees, begging me for 50 cents. Because he saved another 50 cents on a bag earlier and the Chinese guy said if he got another 50 cents he can go buy something nice for his red-skinned Venusian from the dollar store. I gave him 48 cents. That'll teach his sorry ass.

Hmm.

I also have a Golden Compass, which I swore I'd return, yet I always seem to forget. However, I just got a smoking Howler asking me to return it before it exploded right in front of my eyes. You can't get more subtle than a Howler. I mean, 'em Whisperers are so obvious. ;P

Anyhows.

It's been a looooong 10000 million light years and I am still awake, and now it is 2.20 am. Odd.

It's freezing, did I mention?

Maybe I go visit Pluto.

Its' nice there. Lots of yellow dogs that belong to talking mice. They also have killer dumplings there, and the best chicken noodles that you've ever -

Wait.

Pluto is no longer a planet. They bombed the space depot there last year.

Damn you, smug scientist bas--...ketcases!

Sometimes life tries to play nasty little games with you.

Life, it seems, gets a kick outta s***ting with u. Gets a huge high from messing about your life. Practically squeals with glee each time it one-ups you. Yes, Life (whosoever he may be, damn him) has a sick sense of humour.

Take this for an example.

You need to top-up your phone. No, you desperately need to top-up your phone. You were unable to do so earlier because the mamak-shop behind your house has decided to go Maxis and stop selling Digi-prepaid. But you are still calm. You board the LRT to your destination.

So.

You arrive at the LRT station; you are confident that you will be able to re-activate your life-line, err, I mean, phone line, soon. After all, LRT stations are often equipped with little handymarts and news-stands. Easy.

Then.

You go to the news-stand, and you say "Digi, spuluh. (One must never say se-pu-luh. That's un-Malaysian. Must say spu-loh.)" The cashier-girl nods in your general direction, she pokes at the machine thingy and it beep and boops. You hand her the ten, but she holds up her palms, "wait", she indicates. So you wait.

And you wait.

And then, after you waited, you wait somemore. You suspect something (the machine thingy) is spoilt.

Hmmm.

After what seems like a thousand years, she speaks to the store manager/senior cashier and asks him what the heck is freakin' wrong with the freakin' machine. You too, want to ask what is freakin' wrong with the freakin' machine. (Only, in your head, you are not quite so polite)

They confer in low voices, poking the machine as it boops and beeps.

Then, after 5 minutes, she looks at you and says, "Finished."

Her expression is completely unapologetic. In fact, she looks rather amused.

You say, "Whhhhaaatt??" and she repeats, "Finished."

You are baffled. How can credit be finished?

What, did Di-freakin'-Gi run outta money? Did the Yellow Man demand a pay rise? What, yellow not doing it for him anymore so he quits and DiGi collapses and bankrupts?

You are resigned. But hey, you think, DiGi has that talktime advance thingy, right? You are hesitant to use it because you were unable to use it before due to the fact they only allow it for subscribers of above six months. But you try, because frankly, you are desperate.

So you type out *128#, and press 'call'. Then you press '4', then you press '1', and then....

Oh joy, it is successful!

You press 1 to confirm and then.....

'This transaction is available only for those with RM 0.01 to RM 2.00 balance.'

You are incensed.

Whhhhaaaatttt???

So you check you balance, wondering how come you have so much credit left and then...

Your balance: RM 2.05

My friends, Life, indeed, is a sick, sick thing.

Saddened and disappointed with your string of ironies, you trudge towards the pay-phones and, *sob*..... you reached the point of no return.

You actually USE the payphone.

The horror. The shame. The agony. The dirty handles and mouthpieces. The stupid coins you have to put inside.

So you return home, tired and disappointed. (Both by life and by dashed expectations of something much-anticipated.)

And you type this out to illustrate to the world that yes, Life is a funny little man with a twisted sense of humour.

Goodbye, all.

Why am I not Blogging?

In light of recent events, it has simply occurred to me I did not blog despite having a subject to brag...err, I mean, blog about. My new Hotrod! (a curious term used by J to refer to my Laptop) Yes, my friends, IT is here and I can stop talking about it after this post. *champagne popping*

It came upon a sunny Saturday, (after a very exciting phone call from my brother on Friday morning informing me of it's imminent arrival, to which I squealed and shrieked and generally acted in a deplorably embarrassing manner) while I was picking up all manner of Unspeakables (another curious term courtesy of my father to use upon the private undergarments of certain Wongs) and sniffing out every microscopic bit of dust from every nook and cranny.

It was Cleaning Saturday, and I eagerly looked out the window every millisecond for the sound of the lorry and the bark of Maya, who, as usual, barks at anything that so much as approaches our house. That includes insects, frogs, imaginary dingbats and various hallucinations of various barkable enemies.

It arrived in a SKYNET lorry, and my brother dealt with it accordingly. I made him a deal; I will mop the living room floors and do his part of the chores and he sets up my laptop for me. To which I regret, because it turns out that the laptop needed no setting up. All you had to do was turn it on and wait. Thats' it. Everything is ready.

*shoots self in leg*

But it was alright, I got some extra exercise... (sure, that is what I care about, uh huh, witness the false self-assurance, my friends.)

*sigh of contentment*

So that's it.

Now, I can move on with my posting.

Study week has started, and I have achieved many things.

1) I have discovered that I can put a Daisy-shaped clock on my Vista sidebar, and I have named my clock Ithildin's Bane.

2) I have re-played Chocolatier 2 and am nearly at where I was in my former desktop.

3) I have managed to wipe off several stubborn grubby finger-marks off my laptop.

4) I have managed to breathe in and out for the past three days with no problems.

5) I have teased Maya mercilessly by flopping her ears and poking her in the nose.

6) I have eaten food with no dastardly consequences.

7) I have watched my 3rd re-run of The Devil Wears Prada and the 4th re-run of Underworld: Evolution.

8) I have made plans for Golden Compass.

9) I am still alive!

10) I have not studied.

........................................................

Oh s***.

Hmmm.

I think I may have lost most of my Feature Writing notes. It is somewhere in my bag, and I simply cannot bring myself to study for a subject that has 'Writing' in it. How can you study writing?

And besides, if my memory serves me well I should be able to remember what Datin thought us last semester......wait.

I am relying on my memory??

*pulls out long, long, rope and ties to ceiling fan*

Goodbye everybody.

*jumps*

*ceiling fan breaks*

Ah, garn it.

I have a Moral textbook. It tells me that the few Morals I should live by are:

1) The way of noble life and self-sacrifice is to eat the last piece of chocolate so that YOU shall bear the burden of sugar instead of your overweight brother and diabetic father.

2) The ultimate good deed is to help your friends escape the stressfulness of studying by providing a distraction of movies, chatting and loooong lunches.

3) The only way to achieve enlightenment is to turn up the brightness of your laptop in the middle of the night as you build your chocolate empire.

With these morals, I shall rule the world!!!!! *evil laughter*

......................I had a Pinky & the Brain moment.

Sigh.

I think I go now. I feel rather bleargh. Though, really, how can one feel bleargh? I mean, bleargh-ism is a state of mind and -

*gets shot, finally*

Damn.