Tragedy

I think I vaguely remember those high-pitched Gibb brothers once squeal, "Tragedy, something something Tragedy." It was a song, of that I am sure, just not sure WHICH one.

For right now, I am in a quandary. A tragedy. A disaster. I want to get my ass moving and working on the Comm. Research proposal, but my brain is currently glued together by some ooey, gooey bubblegum (and I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE bubble gum. And chewing gum. Will NEVER EVER eat it) and plastered to my kitchen wall; where it stays there to collect oil, dirt and the often-wafting scent of garlic. It refuses to move; I assure you I tried to move it in a variety of ways, for eg.

1. Slamming my skull into the LRT doors and snarling at bewildered passengers
2. Stand in the middle of the road and try to get hit by cars
3. Peforming self-lobotomy
4. Play Sudoku at 'Expert' level
5. Play Sudoku at 'Total Gormless Idiot' level
6. Losing at both levels of aforementioned Sudoku
7. Whacking my mom's beige, 200 ringgit calf-leather handbag against my medula oblongata.
8. Beeping past Touch 'n' Go with my skull and sheer telepathic power
9. Solve the greatest mystery of life (Why are dinosaurs extinct when I have two in my home?)
10. Talk to my dog

But nothing worked. NOTHING. I am so LAZY. LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY. Sheer sloth, I tell you.

I cannot help it; for my brain now is stuck on sveral personal issues I have yet to solve. I HATE HAVING PERSONAL ISSUES.

And now, to top it of.....

I have lost my notes.

Goodbye now. Alas! Cruel world, I knew thee well.